You should never underestimate the value of physical contact.
I remember a week or so into my stay in Norway I went to the doctor for something minor. At one point, the doctor lightly touched my arm. She set off more than a feeling, almost an emotion that welled up inside. How could I have felt so deeply from the slightest human touch? I realized that I had barely had any physical contact in that week or so that I had been there. Whereas at home or school I would somewhat regularly sit closely to someone so that a leg or shoulder was touching, hug hello or goodbye, hold hands, etc. In Norway I had had very little, perhaps none of that. Thus, my "family" in Norway decided to start hugging whenever we greeted each other and definitely when we said goodbye for the night.
While I am certainly not an expert on the subject, there is research that supports a connection between well-being and physical touch. I certainly felt happier when we started hugging in Norway. Was that because I grew closer emotionally and intellectually as I spent more time with "the family?" Probably. Who knows how much influence the hugging actually had on my happiness. I do know that I really enjoy hugging and every time I have gone without touching another human for a time, I notice.
I've been lucky since I moved to Minneapolis that I've gotten to do a lot of hugging. About half my cohort seems to actively willing to hug, so that's a great sign since I'll be spending a lot of time with them. Another great way I've been satisfying my need for touch is through dance! That's what prompted this post actually; I was thinking about what a great time I had dancing last night and how great couple dancing is for a lot of reasons! One being the physical contact obviously---you have to have some sort of contact if you're going to be partners! Dance is also good exercise. I'm moving almost constantly for a good two hours. It also requires communication in more ways than one. You of course have to communicate with your body language---the leader has to indicate what move we're doing next, you have to tell the leader whether you understand and whether you're comfortable with it; often you end up communicating a lot with your eyes, whether you are trying to avoid eye contact, smiling, etc; you might also have a casual conversation while dancing.
Sorry for the quick dance-is-awesome tangent (you should probably all do it). The touch conversation also made me think of a time at the beginning of the school year last year when I implemented a three-hug-a-day quota for myself. It didn't last particularly long, but I kept my reminder written onmy whiteboard all year, so sometimes it did motivate me to squeeze (haha) an extra hug in.
Am I rambling yet? I'll be done soon, promise.
One last point of interest. As an aspiring professional sociologist, my discussion of physical contact made me wonder how other people experience physical contact, especially people in different social groups. Gender came to mind immediately, as it is often less acceptable for males to show physical closeness, especially with other males. I remember a conversation I had once discussing that perhaps male aggression and roughhousing is actually an acceptable manner in which males experience physical closeness. Physical closeness (hugging, sitting so that you are touching someone) often indicates intimacy, as well. Thus in the heteronormative world that we live in in which we assume heterosexuality, a male and female sitting close enough to touch often leads us to believe they are in some kind of romantic or sexual relationship. Finally, I was also reminded of a cultural study about hugging, which found that people of Latin American countries, on average, hug many times a day (I don't remember the exact number but it was at least 20), Americans hug once and British people hug zero times (on average). So physical contact (in this case hugging) is also something that is culturally defined.
My point here is not necessarily to get anyone to add "3 hugs a day" or anything like that, but I do hope that my rant will encourage some of you to think more about how often you encounter human touch in a day, or a week, or a month. Like I said, I never knew how important it was in my life, until it was missing.
Perhaps my real motive in writing this was actually to get you all to hug me more ;)
I remember a week or so into my stay in Norway I went to the doctor for something minor. At one point, the doctor lightly touched my arm. She set off more than a feeling, almost an emotion that welled up inside. How could I have felt so deeply from the slightest human touch? I realized that I had barely had any physical contact in that week or so that I had been there. Whereas at home or school I would somewhat regularly sit closely to someone so that a leg or shoulder was touching, hug hello or goodbye, hold hands, etc. In Norway I had had very little, perhaps none of that. Thus, my "family" in Norway decided to start hugging whenever we greeted each other and definitely when we said goodbye for the night.
While I am certainly not an expert on the subject, there is research that supports a connection between well-being and physical touch. I certainly felt happier when we started hugging in Norway. Was that because I grew closer emotionally and intellectually as I spent more time with "the family?" Probably. Who knows how much influence the hugging actually had on my happiness. I do know that I really enjoy hugging and every time I have gone without touching another human for a time, I notice.
I've been lucky since I moved to Minneapolis that I've gotten to do a lot of hugging. About half my cohort seems to actively willing to hug, so that's a great sign since I'll be spending a lot of time with them. Another great way I've been satisfying my need for touch is through dance! That's what prompted this post actually; I was thinking about what a great time I had dancing last night and how great couple dancing is for a lot of reasons! One being the physical contact obviously---you have to have some sort of contact if you're going to be partners! Dance is also good exercise. I'm moving almost constantly for a good two hours. It also requires communication in more ways than one. You of course have to communicate with your body language---the leader has to indicate what move we're doing next, you have to tell the leader whether you understand and whether you're comfortable with it; often you end up communicating a lot with your eyes, whether you are trying to avoid eye contact, smiling, etc; you might also have a casual conversation while dancing.
Sorry for the quick dance-is-awesome tangent (you should probably all do it). The touch conversation also made me think of a time at the beginning of the school year last year when I implemented a three-hug-a-day quota for myself. It didn't last particularly long, but I kept my reminder written onmy whiteboard all year, so sometimes it did motivate me to squeeze (haha) an extra hug in.
Am I rambling yet? I'll be done soon, promise.
One last point of interest. As an aspiring professional sociologist, my discussion of physical contact made me wonder how other people experience physical contact, especially people in different social groups. Gender came to mind immediately, as it is often less acceptable for males to show physical closeness, especially with other males. I remember a conversation I had once discussing that perhaps male aggression and roughhousing is actually an acceptable manner in which males experience physical closeness. Physical closeness (hugging, sitting so that you are touching someone) often indicates intimacy, as well. Thus in the heteronormative world that we live in in which we assume heterosexuality, a male and female sitting close enough to touch often leads us to believe they are in some kind of romantic or sexual relationship. Finally, I was also reminded of a cultural study about hugging, which found that people of Latin American countries, on average, hug many times a day (I don't remember the exact number but it was at least 20), Americans hug once and British people hug zero times (on average). So physical contact (in this case hugging) is also something that is culturally defined.
My point here is not necessarily to get anyone to add "3 hugs a day" or anything like that, but I do hope that my rant will encourage some of you to think more about how often you encounter human touch in a day, or a week, or a month. Like I said, I never knew how important it was in my life, until it was missing.
Perhaps my real motive in writing this was actually to get you all to hug me more ;)
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