Wow, 3 posts in 2 days?! Yep. I figured I should try to do a brief (what is brief anyhow?) recap of the semester since I didn't do a very good job of posting once it got busy. And boy, did it get busy.... I remember getting that panicky feeling in mid October. Any of you who have been involved in college life should know that feeling, the one you usually get around Thanksgiving when you realize there are only a few weeks left in the semester and you have WAY too much stuff to do. Yeah, that happened for me in October. But everything was okay, just like it always is.
So, what was all that stuff I was doing that I was stressing about? Here's a quick list:
Let me break some of this down for you. Essentially the first year is class-focused. All first years must take Theory in the first semester and Research Methods and Advanced Statistics in the second semester. Many also take Intermediate Stats in the first semester as I did. Additionally, everyone must take a professional development seminar which was a little bit like a Q&A therapy session.
Theory took up most of my time spent on class work. Basically everyday I was doing something theory related----the reading was long and often dense, and the day before class some of us posted blog memos and the rest of us had to comment. So we were literally doing theory all of the time. Realistically, I think theory needs to be intense if you're going to get anything out of it. I was so glad we had those memos once it came down to finals time. For our final we each selected a topic to explore theoretically and then had a 30-45 minute oral exam (more like a conversation) with a professor we also selected. It's funny because in a bunch of other countries, students are doing oral exams all throughout their schooling, but we often don't get to it until we need to defend our prelims or our dissertations and that's a pretty high stakes game. My exam went really well. I was first and I was so nervous, but it actually turned out to be really enjoyable because it was something I am passionate about. I chose to explore sexual assault using 2 case studies, campus rape in the U.S. and rape in the DRC in the midst of the ongoing conflict there. My arguments centered around the ways in which the physical act of sexual assault and the discourse surrounding it is a way of protecting masculinity, and the ways in which the act and the discourse are both forms of violence against the victim (both physical and symbolic). I of course don't have space here to explain it all, so if you have questions or would like to talk more about any of this stuff I would be more than happy to.
The human rights class I took ended up being my favorite. It was on a Friday afternoon, but the discussions were great so it didn't really matter. This class was nice because there was really a variety of perspectives among the 6 of us in the class. I was only 1 of 2 sociologists there. The other students were from public policy or history. Sometimes it's really nice to talk to non-sociologists.
I am not quite done with TAing; their final is tomorrow and then I will have to calculate grades. Luckily the professor made the final multiple choice so I won't have to actually grade the tests. I thought this semester went pretty well. It was definitely a new experience having to lead my own discussion sections and I hope I get another shot at it before I am done here. It does take up a lot of time though. I think Intro is hard to teach because you try to cover so many topics. Basically you get a week to talk about every topic and sometimes not even that. We only had one full day of lecture about gender---how do you even lecture about gender in one day?! I did that lecture, by the way ;) It was pretty fun and the students participated more than I thought they would. I think the real goal of Intro is getting students to think from a different perspective, to learn how to use their sociological imagination. That's a hard thing to do when you have students from so many different levels and backgrounds. I hardly remember anything from my introduction to sociology class, so that worries me a little bit... Although I do know one student decided to pick up a sociology minor after this course. I really appreciated having time to interact with the students in my discussion sections. Other TAs don't really get that if they are only graders. The few students that I really got to know outside of the classroom setting were really great and seem like they will go on to use sociology in a way that is meaningful.
The Sociology of Education Journal Review (sorry I'm going out of order) was something that took up much less of my time this semester, but I think was more beneficial than some of the other things. For those of you who may not be familiar, it is very important for academics to publish---grad students and faculty prior to tenure. When you want to publish something, you send a manuscript into a peer-reviewed journal like Sociology of Education. Your manuscript is then sent out to a few reviewers (preferably scholars in your field of research who can comment on your work) and then the editor decides to reject, accept or let you revise and resubmit it. Right now the Soc of Ed journal is at Minnesota (wherever the editor is). A bunch of grad students (sociology and education) get together as part of a "review board" to discuss submissions with conflicting reviews (maybe two revise and resubmits and one reject) and help the editor decide what to do with it. It's been really helpful for understanding how the publication process works and how to critically read papers. It's also been kind of encouraging to see the really poor work that some people submit because I know I can do so much better! Overall, it has just been a really casual and enjoyable atmosphere. I will be doing this next semester too.
Another exciting thing I've been doing is helping out with the Youth Activities Project here (that's not the final name, but we haven't come up with anything better). It's the first bigger project I've ever been a part of, consisting of about 4 faculty and 5 graduate students and the idea is big. The project is still in the beginning stages, and I have been playing a very small part so far, but we just received some grant funding so we will be seriously moving forward this summer! The very general gist is that we will be looking at youth participation in various activities in the Twin Cities area, including things like sports, music, various clubs, and much more. We are interested in parental decision making and questions of diversity and inequality related to participation.
I'm going to stop with the specific explaining there. Phew!
Overall, this semester has been great. Super overwhelming and crazy, but great. There is so much I still don't know and sometimes I feel very inadequate, but thinking back to the beginning of the semester and thinking about now, the "not knowing" is subsiding...if only minutely. It's kind of confusing because you get a lot of different messages from people about what your first year should be about. Some people tell you to just get through the first semester. Some people tell you you need to start doing research right away, others tell you the most important thing is to just read widely, to explore new topics the first year. I feel a little behind, or maybe behind isn't the word... It feels like I just came into loving sociology and I really haven't had enough time to learn about it and explore what I want to do and I feel like I have to decide soon where I want my research to go for the rest of my career. I'm also pretty young and I know how much I have changed in the past 4 years, so sometimes I wonder if I haven't had enough time to develop myself to just jump into all this. But I know that if I wasn't in graduate school I probably wouldn't get the exposure to sociology that I am getting. Everyday I have at least one awesome conversation that I wouldn't get to have if I was elsewhere. While I could get a different kind of good experience if I took time to work or do some kind of volunteering, there are so many awesome things going on at the university level that I would be missing.
And for all those worried about my mental health, I have been very social. I have been dancing every week, usually on Wednesdays, usually with a group of engineers I met here who are ironically all from a college in South Dakota. I also spend quite a bit of time with members of my cohort in social settings, especially happy hour but not limited to that. My roommate is really awesome. I love her! I feel like I have a lot of support here, both inside and outside of the department. Of course I still feel isolated sometimes, I miss home, I question everything, but that's normal, right? :p
I will be home December 18th- January 8th. I am sooooo excited to be home for Christmas! I can't wait to see everyone! That being said, I always get a little nervous because I know how stressful it is to try to plan things over the holidays and fit everyone in. Whether I follow it or not, my goal is to take a more passive stance this break and try not to stress myself out too much--let the people come to me :)
Well, that's all folks. Semester one of grad school done. That's one semester closer to Dr. Nobles!
So, what was all that stuff I was doing that I was stressing about? Here's a quick list:
- Theory Class, Blogging & Prepping for Oral Exam
- Stats Class
- Human Rights Class & Final Paper
- TAing (Discussion Groups, Grading, Finals Review)
- NSF Fellowship Application
- Youth Activities Project
- Sociology of Education Journal Review
- Department Workshops and others
Let me break some of this down for you. Essentially the first year is class-focused. All first years must take Theory in the first semester and Research Methods and Advanced Statistics in the second semester. Many also take Intermediate Stats in the first semester as I did. Additionally, everyone must take a professional development seminar which was a little bit like a Q&A therapy session.
Theory took up most of my time spent on class work. Basically everyday I was doing something theory related----the reading was long and often dense, and the day before class some of us posted blog memos and the rest of us had to comment. So we were literally doing theory all of the time. Realistically, I think theory needs to be intense if you're going to get anything out of it. I was so glad we had those memos once it came down to finals time. For our final we each selected a topic to explore theoretically and then had a 30-45 minute oral exam (more like a conversation) with a professor we also selected. It's funny because in a bunch of other countries, students are doing oral exams all throughout their schooling, but we often don't get to it until we need to defend our prelims or our dissertations and that's a pretty high stakes game. My exam went really well. I was first and I was so nervous, but it actually turned out to be really enjoyable because it was something I am passionate about. I chose to explore sexual assault using 2 case studies, campus rape in the U.S. and rape in the DRC in the midst of the ongoing conflict there. My arguments centered around the ways in which the physical act of sexual assault and the discourse surrounding it is a way of protecting masculinity, and the ways in which the act and the discourse are both forms of violence against the victim (both physical and symbolic). I of course don't have space here to explain it all, so if you have questions or would like to talk more about any of this stuff I would be more than happy to.
The human rights class I took ended up being my favorite. It was on a Friday afternoon, but the discussions were great so it didn't really matter. This class was nice because there was really a variety of perspectives among the 6 of us in the class. I was only 1 of 2 sociologists there. The other students were from public policy or history. Sometimes it's really nice to talk to non-sociologists.
I am not quite done with TAing; their final is tomorrow and then I will have to calculate grades. Luckily the professor made the final multiple choice so I won't have to actually grade the tests. I thought this semester went pretty well. It was definitely a new experience having to lead my own discussion sections and I hope I get another shot at it before I am done here. It does take up a lot of time though. I think Intro is hard to teach because you try to cover so many topics. Basically you get a week to talk about every topic and sometimes not even that. We only had one full day of lecture about gender---how do you even lecture about gender in one day?! I did that lecture, by the way ;) It was pretty fun and the students participated more than I thought they would. I think the real goal of Intro is getting students to think from a different perspective, to learn how to use their sociological imagination. That's a hard thing to do when you have students from so many different levels and backgrounds. I hardly remember anything from my introduction to sociology class, so that worries me a little bit... Although I do know one student decided to pick up a sociology minor after this course. I really appreciated having time to interact with the students in my discussion sections. Other TAs don't really get that if they are only graders. The few students that I really got to know outside of the classroom setting were really great and seem like they will go on to use sociology in a way that is meaningful.
The Sociology of Education Journal Review (sorry I'm going out of order) was something that took up much less of my time this semester, but I think was more beneficial than some of the other things. For those of you who may not be familiar, it is very important for academics to publish---grad students and faculty prior to tenure. When you want to publish something, you send a manuscript into a peer-reviewed journal like Sociology of Education. Your manuscript is then sent out to a few reviewers (preferably scholars in your field of research who can comment on your work) and then the editor decides to reject, accept or let you revise and resubmit it. Right now the Soc of Ed journal is at Minnesota (wherever the editor is). A bunch of grad students (sociology and education) get together as part of a "review board" to discuss submissions with conflicting reviews (maybe two revise and resubmits and one reject) and help the editor decide what to do with it. It's been really helpful for understanding how the publication process works and how to critically read papers. It's also been kind of encouraging to see the really poor work that some people submit because I know I can do so much better! Overall, it has just been a really casual and enjoyable atmosphere. I will be doing this next semester too.
Another exciting thing I've been doing is helping out with the Youth Activities Project here (that's not the final name, but we haven't come up with anything better). It's the first bigger project I've ever been a part of, consisting of about 4 faculty and 5 graduate students and the idea is big. The project is still in the beginning stages, and I have been playing a very small part so far, but we just received some grant funding so we will be seriously moving forward this summer! The very general gist is that we will be looking at youth participation in various activities in the Twin Cities area, including things like sports, music, various clubs, and much more. We are interested in parental decision making and questions of diversity and inequality related to participation.
I'm going to stop with the specific explaining there. Phew!
Overall, this semester has been great. Super overwhelming and crazy, but great. There is so much I still don't know and sometimes I feel very inadequate, but thinking back to the beginning of the semester and thinking about now, the "not knowing" is subsiding...if only minutely. It's kind of confusing because you get a lot of different messages from people about what your first year should be about. Some people tell you to just get through the first semester. Some people tell you you need to start doing research right away, others tell you the most important thing is to just read widely, to explore new topics the first year. I feel a little behind, or maybe behind isn't the word... It feels like I just came into loving sociology and I really haven't had enough time to learn about it and explore what I want to do and I feel like I have to decide soon where I want my research to go for the rest of my career. I'm also pretty young and I know how much I have changed in the past 4 years, so sometimes I wonder if I haven't had enough time to develop myself to just jump into all this. But I know that if I wasn't in graduate school I probably wouldn't get the exposure to sociology that I am getting. Everyday I have at least one awesome conversation that I wouldn't get to have if I was elsewhere. While I could get a different kind of good experience if I took time to work or do some kind of volunteering, there are so many awesome things going on at the university level that I would be missing.
And for all those worried about my mental health, I have been very social. I have been dancing every week, usually on Wednesdays, usually with a group of engineers I met here who are ironically all from a college in South Dakota. I also spend quite a bit of time with members of my cohort in social settings, especially happy hour but not limited to that. My roommate is really awesome. I love her! I feel like I have a lot of support here, both inside and outside of the department. Of course I still feel isolated sometimes, I miss home, I question everything, but that's normal, right? :p
I will be home December 18th- January 8th. I am sooooo excited to be home for Christmas! I can't wait to see everyone! That being said, I always get a little nervous because I know how stressful it is to try to plan things over the holidays and fit everyone in. Whether I follow it or not, my goal is to take a more passive stance this break and try not to stress myself out too much--let the people come to me :)
Well, that's all folks. Semester one of grad school done. That's one semester closer to Dr. Nobles!
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